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samara4Author: Samara4
Beta: fictionfreak15
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Summary: Adam had begun his second national tour few weeks ago. Everything was just perfect. He was working with the same team he was working with during the first tour and all the concerts were already sold out. When he found out that there're some peoples who want to hurt him all his perfect life started to fall appart.
Disclaimer: It's called a fanfic for a reason...I don't own anyone of the Glamily, they all belong to themself!
Warnings: violence, angst, non-con. This is a darkfic, so don't read if you don't like that kind of fic.
Chapter 15
When Tommy came back during the evening, Sutan and Adam were in the living room, watching TV. By the way Adam was sitting on his side of the couch, keeping a certain distance between him and the makeup artist, Tommy could guess that something had happened, that something went wrong.
“Hey guys, how are you doing?” he asked, taking off his jacket and sitting in a rocking chair.
“We’re fine,” Sutan answered, smiling. “How do you feel? Did you get some rest?”
“Yea, I slept the whole afternoon, I guess I was more tired than I thought,” the bassist said, glancing at Adam. From where he was, he could have a good look at the singer and noticed that he was avoiding him, like he didn’t want to look at him. He was keeping his eyes on the TV and his face was showing no emotion. “What about you Adam, how was your day?” he asked with caution.
“Perfect, thanks,” the singer answered, weakly, giving a quick look toward the blond man before looking at the TV again.
Tommy glanced at Sutan giving him the ‘What the fuck is wrong with him?’ face. The makeup artist looked at him and shook his head, still smiling. So he supposed that it was not as bad as it seemed.
After a few minutes, Sutan stood up and said that he had to go. He took Tommy in a hug and walked behind the couch and hugged Adam, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“I love you, honey,” his whispered in his ear.
“Love you too,” the singer murmured when Sutan let go of him. “Thank you,” he added before his friend disappeared outside, smiling at him and closing the door behind him.
When Sutan was gone, Tommy sat next to the singer on the couch. They watched a documentary about the history of vampires. When it was over, Adam decided to shower and to go to bed. The bassist was already under the sheets when the singer walked in the room. Without a word, Adam swallowed two sleeping pills with a sip of water, put the glass back on the night stand and laid down next to his friend.
“Adam, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked, concerned.
“Nothing…Why are you asking?” the black haired man said, still looking away from his friend.
“It seems like you are avoiding me or something. You didn’t say a word since Sutan left.”
“Sorry about that…I didn’t mean to avoid you and to make you worried,” Adam began, rolling on his side to face Tommy. “It’s just…Sutan made me realized some stuff about me, and…I think I need to focus on me, on how I feel and stuff.”
“Ok…Do you want me to leave?”
“No…No, please, stay with me. Just give me a few days, ok? I need to clear my thoughts to know what to do next.”
“Ok, as you wish,” Tommy said, wondering what Adam had in his head. “Just keep in mind that I’m here, if you need anything…”
“Yea…thanks,” the singer murmured, shifting in the bed to lay his head on Tommy’s pillow and closing his eyes. “I’m really grateful to have you here, Tommy.”
“I’m glad to be here too,” the bass player assured, wrapping his arms around his friend and pulling him closer. “Good night, Adam.”
“Good night, Tommy.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Adam was tied up and bent over a bench. Someone was standing behind him and was beating him with a leather whip. He wasn’t able to see who it was or if someone else was in the room. The only thing he could see was the floor, and the pool of blood above him that was growing with the pain on his back and the weakness he felt in his entire body. At least, his ass wasn’t as painful anymore, probably because the other parts of his body were hurting too much. He knew that the big part of the blood was coming from the hard fucking he just got a few minutes ago. When he began to not be able to stand the pain from the whipping, he heard footsteps coming closer.
“Why are you doing this to him?” an angry voice asked.
“Paul!?!?!” Adam said weakly when he recognized Paul’s voice.
“Adam!”
“Paul, please…help me” the singer begged, feeling tears filling up his eyes.
“ADAM!”
The singer opened his eyes as soon as he felt hands shaking his shoulders lightly. He found himself in his bed, on his side, face to face with a worried Tommy. He could feel tears running down his cheeks, and he was shaking.
“Adam, it’s ok,” the bass player assured, stroking circles on Adam’s back. “It was just a bad dream. You’re safe here, babyboy.”
After a few minutes, the singer pulled away from Tommy and laid on his back, sighing. He dried his cheeks with his hand and breathed deeply to calm himself.
“Adam,” the bassist began, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. “You talked in your dream and you named someone…Adam…who’s Paul?” he asked with caution.
“Paul is the man who wanted me to be kidnapped,” Adam said after a moment, sitting up as well, pulling his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “He paid a lot of money to make that happened.”
“What did he do to you?”
“Tommy…I’m sorry, I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” Adam explained, standing up. “I need more time,” he added, walking out of the bedroom.
After a few minutes, Tommy was not surprised to hear the sound of the shower being turned on.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The rest of the day and the day after, Tommy found Adam really quiet. He wasn’t talking a lot and was spending a lot of time by himself in his bedroom or in his office where he was usually working on his writing and where he kept his computer. Even if the bass player was worried about his friend’s behaviour, he remembered that Adam had warned him that he needed to work on himself and that he needed a few days to do it. So, Tommy decided to respect the singer’s wishes. To keep himself busy, the blond man spent a lot of time in Adam’s music room, always shutting the door before playing; he knew that his friend wasn’t ready to hear or talk about music yet. Even if the singer was discreet, Tommy had his lunch and dinner with him, and they were spending the evening together watching movies and falling asleep in Adam’s bed.
After these two days, Adam was beginning to be worried about himself. The last three nights, he had dreams where he was begging Paul to help him or where he was calling for him. In these dreams, it felt like he needed to be with Paul, like he was missing him. Adam was disgusted by how he felt; he wasn’t able to understand these feelings. He hated that man. It was because of him that he had been taking away from his friends and family, that had been tortured and raped. He couldn’t really miss him. So, he realized that he needed to share his thoughts and feelings with someone if he didn’t want to become crazy. Since his discussion with Sutan, he had seriously thought about getting some help, but with these dreams, he decided that he really had to do it. He went on the web and found Dr. Spencer’s phone number. She had given him her card, but he was so upset when he was at the hospital, that he had thrown the card away. When he found the number, it took him the whole afternoon, sitting alone in his office, before taking the phone in his hand and calling the psychologist.
“Hello, Dr. Anna Spencer speaking.”
When Adam heard her voice, he almost hung up. But he knew deep inside that he had to talk to her. So, it took all his courage to be able to say something.
“Hmm…Hi, Dr. Spencer…It’s Adam….Hmm…Adam Lambert,” he managed to say, his voice shaking a little. “We met about three weeks ago…”
“Hi, Adam,” she said, calmly. “Yea, I remember…How are you doing?”
“Well…You know,” the singer began, not knowing what to say. “I guess, if I’m calling you it’s probably because I’m not doing as fine as I want to…” he added after a moment. It was not easy for him to admit that he needed help.
“I’m glad you did it, Adam. Usually, I don’t do this on the phone, but I guess you’re in Hollywood.”
“Yea, I am. I’m sorry, but I really need to talk to someone, and since you already know a part of what happened, I thought that…maybe…”
“It’s ok, Adam. I don’t mind if it’s what you want. What do you want to talk about?”
During about an hour, Adam explained to the psychologist what he had in his mind, how he was feeling and his worries about his latest dreams. But he wasn’t able to tell her what his captors did to him; he wasn’t ready yet. Dr. Spencer listened to him, glad that he had finally decided to talk to someone, to reach for help. For his dreams about Paul, she explained to him that he was not crazy; his brain was dealing with what happened the best it could, but the info it was sending to him while he was sleeping was not necessary the reality. His mind just needed to free itself from the bad memories. She told him that she needed to see him, to talk more about all of this. He explained that he didn’t want to travel; he was not ready to be seen in public yet. So, he asked her to come to LA and that he would pay for all her expenses. She was not available for a few days, but she told him she would be glad to come visit him the next week.
When Adam hung up, it felt like he had less pressure on his shoulders; he felt lighter. When he got out of his office, he noticed that there was a nice smell of food in the house, making his stomach growl. He took a look at his watch and noticed that it was already dinner time. He walked to the kitchen and found Tommy busy in front of the oven.
“Hey, Tommy,” Adam said, leaning against the door frame. “It smells really good.”
“Thanks!” the bass player exclaimed, glancing quickly to his friend and looking back at his cooking.
“You know, you don’t have to do this…” Adam walked closer to the smaller man. “You are the guest here; I should be the one who cooks for you.”
“Naw’…Don’t worry…It’s keeping me busy,” Tommy assured, taking two plates from the cupboard. “And, you can’t cook Mexican food as well as I do.”
“If you say so…”
When the food was ready, they sat at the table to eat. Tommy had cooked enchiladas and Adam thought it was really good. When they were done, they cleaned the kitchen together and headed upstairs to watch a movie in the singer’s bedroom. They both sat on the bed, under the covers, their backs leaned against the headboard. Tommy noticed that there was something different about Adam; he seemed to be more relaxed. He didn’t know what happened, but he was glad that his friend felt better. They finished the movie and settled to sleep. After Adam had taken his pills, he cuddled next to Tommy.
“Tommy,” the singer began, already half asleep. “I would like to call Monte tomorrow and ask him if he wants to spend some time with us, maybe have dinner with us…” he added between two yawns.
“Yea, it’s a good idea. I’m sure he’s going to be up to it!”
“Good…I’ll call him in the morning…Good night!”
“Good night, Adam!”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Like he said, Adam called Monte in the morning to ask to come to his place for dinner. Of course, the guitarist agreed; he was more than happy to spend some time with his friends. He suggested bringing beers and pizza. The singer was not fond of fast food, but he knew that Tommy would be more than happy to eat pizza.
It was about 7:00 pm when Monte knocked at the door. Adam let him in and took the beers and the pizza box off his hands and laid them on the table in the living room. There was a special show about rock’n roll, and Tommy had convinced Adam to watch it with them. The singer ate in silence, watching TV and listening to the conversation going on between the two musicians. When the show was over, Adam suddenly realized how badly he missed the music in his life. Since the hospital, he didn’t want to think too much about it, linking the music and the kidnapping together. But right now, he needed to have it back in his life, even if he knew it wouldn’t be easy. But, if he wanted to make that happen, he knew he had to do something about it. First of all, he had to feel better with what happened. So, it meant that he had to talk about it.
“When they kidnapped me behind the theater that night, I was so scared to die,” Adam began suddenly, without thinking twice. “But, when I am thinking about it right now, I wish they would have killed me back there…”
Monte and Tommy froze and looked at each other. They didn’t know why the singer had suddenly decided to talk, but they didn’t want to disturb the atmosphere. So, they sat still on the couch and waited for what was coming. They were sure they wouldn’t like what they would hear, but they knew that their friend had to share with them what he was keeping to himself for weeks.
Adam kept going like that for about half an hour, telling them almost everything that happened to him; how they kidnapped him, the cold room where they kept him, what he saw in the slave farm, the beating he received, the forced blow jobs, the rape by Victor, Paul’s place, how Paul treated him, the several times that Paul had raped him and the rescue by agent Miller. All the time, Adam was keeping his eyes on his hands and on the floor. He didn’t want to see his friends’ reaction. When he was done, he was not feeling as well as he thought he would. He was now scared of what Monte and Tommy were thinking about him. So, he decided that he needed to be alone for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry,” he said, standing up quickly and getting out of the house by the back-door.
When the door closed behind the singer, Monte and Tommy looked at each other. The bass player’s eyes were full with tears.
“Oh my god…Fuck…” the blond man exclaimed. “I would never imagine that someone could do that to him. How would someone want to hurt him?!?!” he added, wiping his eyes and sniffing.
“Yea…I know…I didn’t know about all of this…It’s fucking hard to hear, because it really happened to him…”
“Well…now I’m starting to understand a good part of his behaviour,” Tommy said, taking the cartoon box and the empty bottles in his hands. “I hope he’s going to get better now and…I hope he decides to go back to his music again…” he added, walking in the kitchen. He needed to stay busy or he would fell in tears on the floor.
Monte agreed. He missed doing music with the band. But, knowing it would take him a few days before being able to live with what Adam had told them, he had no idea how hard it could be for the singer to live with it and how long it would take before he would be able to come back to a normal life.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*****Please leave a comment...I want to know what you think...*****
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:18 pm (UTC)Yea, Adam starts to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I'm glad you liked it!
ok
Date: 2011-04-12 03:00 am (UTC)Re: ok
Date: 2011-04-14 12:19 pm (UTC)I hope I'll be able to post the next chapter soon!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 03:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:20 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you like it!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 03:43 am (UTC)Hugs to everyone
Deb <333
no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:21 pm (UTC)Thank you for your comment!
Hugs back!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:22 pm (UTC)I'm glad to read that you love it!
I'll try to post the next chapter soon!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 03:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:23 pm (UTC)Thanks for your comment, more coming soon!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-12 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:23 pm (UTC)Glad to see that you are still here!
Hugs!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-14 12:25 pm (UTC)Thanks for you comment!
I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as possible...